Family · Honest Mama Talk · Parenting

Honest Mama Talk || I Said No

i-said-no

I have a habit of spreading myself to thin.

I’m always saying yes when I’m asked to volunteer for things; I’m always taking on new projects; I’m always setting goals that are either impossible or very hard to accomplish. It’s insanity. I don’t know why I do it. I sometimes find myself believing that people will consider me lazy or will think that I don’t do enough for my children if I don’t try to accomplish everything possibly.

Have I mentioned that I also have a nasty habit of caring too much about what people think of me? I know that I shouldn’t. Caring too much about the opinions of others will only serve to drive a person crazy. It will  cause a person to lose their sense of self worth. I know this, yet I find myself having a hard time passing on volunteer requests all the time.

I put our daughter in Girl Scouts last year and because they were unable to find a troop leader, I volunteered and ended up doing everything with very little help from anyone. I’ve volunteered to be room mom for our daughter’s class every single year, even when I know that I’m going to end up stressed beyond belief when I end up doing the big class projects alone. I volunteer to bake things, build things, drive people places, babysit… this list can really go on and on. I’m always taking on projects, even when I know that I’m going to be spreading myself too thin in doing so.

Well today? Today, I said no.

Don’t worry, I was very nice about it! I was asked to bake a giant batch of something for a school function and I politely explained that I wasn’t able to because I had too much on my plate at the moment. And guess what! It felt good. I think that I will do it again sometime.

We as parents need to realize that we have a lot on our plates, always. There is always something to do in some capacity when it comes to our children and just because we’re not able to extend ourselves in every facet of their lives, doesn’t make us bad parents. There are plenty of completely legitimate reasons to say no to things, and that is fine.

No, because I’ve got nine-hundred other things on my to do list that need attention.

No, because I’ve volunteered for too many things already.

No, because I have a toddler at home who won’t. stop. climbing. and I’m busy preventing a trip to the ER.

No, because I don’t want my kids to have to deal with an overly anxious, stressed out mama because I have too many things to do and not enough time in my day to do them.

No, because I would love to just sit down at the end of a long day and hang out with my little family for five seconds instead of rushing off to get the next thing done.

No, because frankly… I don’t want to.

The point is, we don’t have to be everything to everyone in order to be good parents. Our parenting skills are not measured by the extra tasks that we take on. We don’t need to bake 100 brownies for the school bake sale in order for our kids to look at us and say “man, I’ve got a good mama.” They just want us. They want our time, they want our fun, they want our love. They don’t care about the rest of it.

And who cares what other people think? Honestly. It doesn’t matter. Other people are not our kids. Other people are not our keepers. They can easily ask someone else to complete the task.

So I’ve made a promise to myself. I’m only going to take on the projects that I feel help my family, further my dreams and don’t make me feel like I’m THISCLOSE to losing my mind. I can’t  {I won’t} take away from my family life in order to give, give, give myself to projects simply because I’m afraid of what people think of me. I can’t be the “yes” person anymore. I can’t just blindly walk into things because I’m afraid of being gossiped about. That is no way to live.

 

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9 thoughts on “Honest Mama Talk || I Said No

  1. I am glad you were able to say no. What others think should not be what drives us to do things. I can totally relate to what you said here. I also need to learn to say no sometimes. I enjoy being involved in a lot of activities but it can get overwhelming having to do so many things. So nowadays I only volunteer on projects when it means seeing my family taking a part of it, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly how I feel. I love being part of it all, which is why I always find myself volunteering when sometimes I shouldn’t. It’s hard to find a balance in it all. I’m forcing myself to now!

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  2. I don’t have an issue saying no…but I feel like I have to explain myself. I think that’s just as bad as saying yes when we need to say no. I don’t need to answer to anyone but my family for why I can or cannot do something. I’m glad you are taking a stand for your sanity! 🙂 #ShineBlogHop

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    1. Thank you so much for bringing this up! That is such a great point. I find myself feeling the same way at times, and I’m sure that many others do too. It’s important for us to take into mind that we don’t need to answer to every person out there. We don’t need to feel guilty for saying no when it’s the best thing for us at the time. Thanks for the visit, and thank you so much again for bringing up this point!

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  3. Yes! I mean, no! 🙂

    I find myself in the same boat, and try to think about “No” in terms of making the “Yes”es mean more. I can only spread myself so thin before things start getting neglected. (I too am a Girl Scout leader. And a single mom of twins. And a full time IT worker. And on the PTA board. And on the school district Gifted Services board. So I stepped down as national coordinator for Single Parents of Multiples for a US non-profit.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow!! You know EXACTLY what I’m trying to say then! You’re definitely busy. And I like the idea of having that state of mind… making our “yes” mean more. Thanks for visiting!

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